25 август, 2008

So damn quiet!


No laugh, no voices, no ringing phones. Just the music and nothing else. Usually the Skype is informing me that someone's writting. Usually the phone ring to tell me I have a new message. Usually there is someone to talk to.
Hmm... Quietness...
Where are you, guys? Why are you not here? I have so many things to say tonight, but there is no one to hear it. No one to talk to, no one to call, no one to understand. I don't even know how to say it. But... I have to...
...To make this silence go away.
Someone is back. Someone who left two years ago is back for a couple of days. And for him it seems like nothing is different now. The look, the smile, the way he talks, like nothing happened. Like he never left, but he did. And he'll leave again.
Fate... It's a strange thing, isn't it.
I said I wanted to fall a week ago and I said that I want something to happen. Then there was silence again. A real one. And today something happened. Someone came back. And I think that I can fall...again.
And I had this dream, where the boy I was falling for gave me the sweetest thing in the world that is even sweeter that the chocolate, he kissed me. And after that this other boy came back.
It's so quiet...
Because I don't know what to think and to do. Should I keep myself from falling or should I fall? Should I say it or not? Should I pretend that nothing happened? Please tell me, because I don't know what to do. Next time I will thing twice before to say I want something.
So damn quiet!
And maybe that's the way it should be. 'Cuz I don't want to say all those things to anyone. I don't want to talk about it or to think about it. I just will stay right here and wait for those thoughts to go away. Because I didn't forget what happened and I'm not going back to where I was two years ago or a couple of months ago. I moved on and I'm so over them, that I shouldn't even care about them both.
But I care, because this is who I am. And I care, because my mind dares to play that way with me, making me dream those things. And I care, because he is back. When he left I had so many things to say to him and I couldn't And there was silence between us. Now he is smiling and looking at me the way he used to and pretends that nothing happened... But it did. He left and he will do it again.That's why I care. Because maybe I don't want him to leave and I want this dream to become true. Not because I really care, but because I wished that for so long, that deep down in my heart I still want it so badly.
Avril Lavigne - Complicated

2 коментара:

Just a Little Star каза...

Well,dear...Let me tell you something...I am here 24/7 for you.I am here to listen and read things that you say or write!I don't know why you're scared about "him" and his returning.While,you have friends,we won't permiss you to fall,because we're care about you.
'bout the other questions...I know that sometime you have to make a decision about your life your own,but while we're Best Friends,I 'll be right there where're you and I'll always be!
But even you don't understand something...It's alright...You're just a kid like us,and it's normal not to know some things...
And do not forget that I love you and I'll always do it! {hug}

KisSeD-(by)-(an)-AnGeL каза...

thanks! I love you too and I always will {}{}{}