02 октомври, 2008

One whole dream

"You just have to fall..." she said "...to fall..." I repeated "...fall..." again "FALL!" the voice inside of me screamed. So what else should I do? There was nothing else. No reason not to fall. No point of running. Everything left to one stupid question "Am I brave enough to fall? Do I believe there will be someone to catch me?" I knew there is someone. I knew I won't fall really. So I just fell...
Suddenly everything went black as soon as I closed my eyes. There was no fear or doubt, that I should have left on my place and not fall. It was an instant, but all my mind was out of the clouds and the eclipse. But I felt right. It's true, that I can't imagine me without my eclipse, but for that instant I didn't need the eclipse, to be me.

The fear came after... It made my breathing become uneven. My heart started beating too fast. I was numb and frozen. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. Like I was standing in the edge of reality and fantasy and all I had to do, to stay there was, to close my eyes and want this with all part of me. Then my thought get back with my dose of eclipse. Being away from my eclipse and then finally having it all around me felt so pure, so perfect. Every day it takes more and more of me and makes us as a whole.
The difference was, that there was something else with the usual satisfaction of the eclipse. There was that feeling of safety. I was save from really falling. I won't say I wanted to come back. If it was up to me, I would stay there forever with my eclipse, my real fantasy and my safety. But I'll find the way to get back there sometimes, just to feel it all in once. The eclipse, the safety, and all the missing pieces of me...

Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest

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