07 октомври, 2008

...what do you live for?

For over a month I had seen so much of her life through her eyes. I had seen her happy, mad, sad, desperate, going crazy, hurt, alone, in love...
How can I believe she is not real? I felt all of her pain when he was gone? I had seen all of her happiness and love when he was with her. I had seen the curiosity in her eyes when she first met him. I had seen him through her eyes and I loved them both like they are real. Like they are right here and I'm with them all the time.
I cried with her, I suffered with her, I smiled when she does, I laugh... How can I believe it's not real?! How can I believe it's all an illusion?! It's not fair!
I couldn't close my eyes without seeing them both happy, or wanting to be with her, when she was desperate and hurt without him. I live every moment of my life since I started all this wishing their happy end. I spent hours after midnight just to be with them. My addiction, my thoughts, my obsession... It's all about Twilight. I can't believe they are just a fictional characters. They must be real. They can't be just part of someone's imagination. Can they?
How will I believe? How will I keep my life without thinking if they are okay? How can I look at the night outside and not imagine this perfect story? How?!?!If this was not a normal ordinary world, they could really exist. If life was a fairytale, then we all would have happy endings and one Edward beside us. If we had happy endings there wouldn't be so many people who cry alone at night. If life was fairytale... But it's not.
And it's not fair! Damn it. I want it to be real! I want them to live and to have their damn happy ending in order to make me believe we all will have ours! But they might be better there... In the Twilight of their own story, where loneliness is just temporary and where happy endings always come.
And what about us? That's a stupid question to ask, I think. We belong here in the reality, where happy endings are maybe the greatest thing we could ever wish for. Here, where all we have to do is survive... In the eternal Eclipse!

1 коментар:

Baby Doll каза...

Well dear,
I don't know...
The only thing I know is that I'm happy .... because I've read these books and I share my thoughts with you....when we're spent hours and hours talkin' about Twilight!I'm happy to know about Eduard and Bella,Jasper and Alise,Emet and Rasali,Jacob of course....
So,beb,don't be sad,mad,etc.
Love ya!