26 януари, 2009

Somehow I can't help myself

I can't help myself. When I'm around you the only thing that I can think about is you. When you look at me my heart starts beating faster and when you smile at me and say my name it feels like there is no air around, or at least I can't take enough to make myself breathe normally. And... I can't erase that stupid smile on my face when you look at me that way... or any way at all. And I feel like... I'm intoxicated by you, and your eyes, and your voice, and... your everything actually. And somehow... No matter how bad my day is, when I think about you everything seems so right. And if the damn sky falls over me I won't even notice, because all I'll be thinking about is you. The stupid truth is that... Nobody cares really. Including you... And... Normally I wouldn't care. It's for the best, because you have her, but... I care somehow, because I would never find all the best of me if it wasn't for you. I would never try to make the day better, if you didn't need me to. I would never say all those stuff, if I wasn't so impossibly in love with you!
I said it! I love you, damn it. I'm addicted to you. I'm obsessed. I could go anywhere, just to see your smile. And it's worth it all if I can just see you, feel you...
And even when I know you will never be mine the way I want it, being your friend is fine with me. Because... I would give up all those crazy love thing if I could for the promise, that I will never lose that smile of your in my day. And... I can't help it, so... Let me just say that I love you, and that would be enough for me, even if you never really hear it from me... Because... Sometime love doesn't need words... You can sense it and feel it and maybe even see it. You just have to look at me for more than five seconds. Can you do that. Can you see what I'm trying to hide even from myself. Because... I know you can... But then... The right question is... Do you want to?
Well, my secret stays safe anyway. It's not like I will scream it to the world. Not that I don't want to, but... I want you to see it. And if you don't, then I would now that, " it's never to become
For I am not the on".

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