26 септември, 2009

I can't hear a sound

I thought the time had stopped for me. I really believed that these days. I mean not like a drama thing, but just... I couldn't feel anything. No happiness, no sadness. I hate saying 'goodbye'. I really do, but it's like I've been waiting for this moment a while now. It was what I needed, so that I can finally believe in me. I am strong enough to handle things for myself, without you in the picture.
I would give anything to have you back. I can't denny that even if I can but... What I feel now is relief. Finally it is over. And it is over for good. At least that's what I'd like to believe.
And I also got to the conclusion that I'm no longer going all obsessed with 'a good guy'. It might seem like a fairytale, but I don't think I believe in those anymore. They just show you the illusion and make you believe in the happy endings and the prince on the white horse, who's gonna show up eventually and rescue you. But there is no such thing, is there?
So, I'm done with that fairytale, as we got to the end before the actual start. And you know, at least when you like bad guys you know you're gonna get hurt and it's not that bad after all. But knowing you had a prince who could save you and instead he chose to run away - that is not something I wanna live trough again.

No, I'm not gonna be the one to pick up the phone and dial the number. I'm strong enough and if you want me in your life you might as well do something about it. I've crossed too many lines and made too many mistakes. I'm done taking steps for someone who won't even care enough to actually say goodbye to me.
It still seems like the time had stopped. But at least I know when to run away. Because sometimes this is the best thing to do, no matter how perfect the fairytale promisses to be.