15 януари, 2010

Pulse

Breathing in... Breathing out... Something made my heart go fast and then slow and then fast again, going crazy over and over. Was it the music? Or the fire I saw in your eyes that day? 'Cuz I've lost a lot of myself trying to figure it out and I still can't. And I want to, but then my breathing becomes uneven again. I feel his warm breath on my skin, making me shiver from the cold touch of his hand. The funny thing is that as soon as I realize how good it makes me feel, you put my world upside down and you're away, but still with this fire in your eyes you make me wonder.
And then it is all over again - movements like a shadow in the night. You come out of nowhere and all I know is i can't seem to catch my breath, 'cuz I'm not even sure if i know how to breathe in the first place. I can't trace a single thought in my mind and I totally lose control of myself. And it is all for one simple reason, having a pretty name - sunshine.
Yep, sunshine... We all like it, don't we? It makes us feel warm and all smiley, but we can't look at it without tears in our eyes, because the light is too much sometimes and it becomes hard to look at.
The music starts again so loud that I can't hear a sound. I just follow the steps that I seem to know but without learning them and it all comes natural. For an instant, the moment taken for the songs to swich from one to another, I hear you say my name and I no longer see the steps. All I can do is breathe in, breathe out and enjoy the next thing, that's gonna happen. My pulse, always having his own mind starts to follow the music, instead of me and it all makes no sense.
'Cuz I'm okay with the fact, that I'm creating my own illusion again and I'm not delusional about it. I've been there and done that. I just enjoy these moments - I see the fire in your eyes, when you look at mine for a couple of seconds every now and then, I love that hidden smile that you don't want me to know about, but I kinda know about it, the fear of being too close as if this hot and cold thing are going to create some kind of chemical reaction that you will not be able to control and for all I know you don't like losing control of yourself even when you are trying to do it, just for the fun of being reckless.
What's gonna happen? I have no idea. No matter how hard I'm trying to be that girl who doesn't allow herself to care too much, the sun starts shining so brighly, that I can't just ignore it. And when I decide to look at it and enjoy, there are too many clouds hidding it.
Step... step... breathing in... breathing out... reaching out... trying to touch... almost feeling the warm sweet breath... cold touch... no heart-beat... no pulse... just you, me and the music... till i wake up...

1 коментар:

Susan Death каза...

Много е хубаво!! :) Nice..