20 ноември, 2010

Inspired or something

I realised something, as I was writing in my Wish Book this morning - you don't have to run from your heart's desires because they are to scary to even dream of. You have to go for it, because after all the heart wants what it wants and it will never be whole without it.
So, the Wish Book is actually an experiment, based of this movie "The secret". They made us watch it at school for some stupid reason and I find it a little too imaginary, but it's worth the try i guess. These days things are bad enough and I could use some hope.
And I find myself looking at this silly picture, that I had hidden long time ago in a box and I'm starting to know why. It is because I want more pictures like that one, as stupid as it sounds. Oh hell, I can't spend my whole life running away from all my pathetic wishes. My heart can only take so much being hurt, but I kinda wanna give it a little freedom for a change and let it feel whatever it wants.
I'm gonna like driving, but learning how to drive is... well not that easy. I mean, okay - it was my first try and I was actually pretty brave about it. My heart wasn't going like crazy, because I was excited. Anyway, I still have a lot to learn, but today I'm gonna spend some time writing and thinking about things, and tomorrow I'm gonna keep reading my driving-teaching book.
Oh, recently I noticed that I'm trying to get myself back to being 'perfect'. I used to do all the things right and some people hated me about it, but I liked it, so... I'm not sure if it's gonna be easy getting there again, but I sure as hell am gonna try, because second place still means you've lost and I don't like losing.

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