07 ноември, 2010

Screwed-up me

I want to disappear for a while. I wanna fall into sleep until every damn feeling in me is gonne. I feel like screaming, but no voice comes out of me. My heart is too quiet, as if it stopped. Every thought linger within my mind, leaving scars of its presence. I'm sick of being lied to, laught at, stupid... All I wanna do is stay right here, but tomorrow I have to go out there and pretend I was never hurt and that I no longer feel stupid. But I do. I'm good at pretending though. I can make them believe it is all okay. I can smile and talk like nothing is wrong. The thing is... I wanted to believe so badly. I wanted nothing else, but to have what I thought was lost. And then they say I'm taking it too personally. It is personal to me. It meant the world that things are finally okay with us, and it turns out it was all an act. And I really try not to care, but I have no strenght to fight the bad feelings. Tomorrow I will make sure no one knows what's going on within me, but when I'm back here and alone in the dark, I'll know that it still hurts a little bit too much. And it's gonna be my fault again. Because I cared, and he never did? Like I said... I'm not that lucky and things always go wrong, just when I start believing that this time they might actually work. So, whatever.
I just really need to wake up, because I wish this wasn't real. Take me away, and make me forget all I know. Because what you don't know, can't hurt you at all.

2 коментара:

Bebedores do Gondufo каза...

Very good.

Лилия каза...

Well, let put an end to everything! Whatever was-dotuk.Kray! I also do not want more. Let the world be calm