10 декември, 2010

Reminding me to breathe

You wanna know why I'm still trying to breathe and to believe that it's all gonna be fine, no matter what? Most of the time I don't. I just put a smile on my face, as if I don't have anything to worry about. And then when the evening comes the nightmares are back. Images of the past won't stop following me, making me wake up in the middle of the night.
I get up the next day, barely remembering the fading images, but I know with all my heart and soul that they will be back. Then a ray of light shows up. And I don't have to remind myself to breath, because he saves me from the darkness. I no longer go to bed scared that the nightmares are coming back. I lay down, wondering if he's thinking about me, just as I am doing that. He shows up, when I'm about to lose myself and reminds me that I still have something.
I believe, because of him. And the moment I stop, my world is going to fall to pieces. I know that, and it's okay in a way. But it's like he holds everything I have without even knowing it. It's like... I've never been entirely broken, at least it feels like it just now. And I stand here, hoping that this feeling never goes away, because I don't know how will I live without it.

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