06 октомври, 2013

two sides

I've spent the most tiring week in a long time. It isn't even over yet and I still feel like sleeping for a whole year and staying home, without moving my damn finger. There are fifteen more weeks to come just like that one. Three days of waking up when it's still dark and cold outside, going out in the rain, the snow, or whatever else there might be out there. Running up and down the stairs and keeping my mind sharp, my eyes open while it's getting harder and harder every day.
This might feel like complaining. In fact, I love doing so. But in the same time I feel so much alive, that my mind can't go off. It has too much to think about, to work on, to share. As hard as it may feel, I was born to do this. I do my best when I have no time to take a breath and the harder it gets, the more I feel alive. What doesn't kill me, I guess, truly makes me stronger. I also have ideas pouring out of me all the time and I can barely right one down before the next comes along.
I'm alive, I'm awake and I am ready....
That was like ... a few days ago before I got sick and lazy and missing the summer. Don't get me wrong, I still want the world and I still feel alive and awake. But then one stupid teacher ruins all your inspiration and you decide to miss the lecture and drink hot coffee with a bunch of new friends, making jokes, laughing and hating everyone who dared to cross us. I have to read so many things and I also need time to write my own stuff. I hate reading books that I did not choose for myself, but I guess I must be used to it by now. Rebeling is my first nature after all. Plus, my cooking skills are way better than last year and my tummy is proud of me. And I'm still here. I just don't have the time to say so, but I will try and steal time for it. I have just three days to survive during the week and then I'm all yours and mine.

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