30 януари, 2014

insanity has always had the best of me

I've made a plan for every single day of the exam session. My decision to be productive may ruin permanently my peace and quiet, but being productive keeps my mind alert at all times and is kind of inspiring. Plus, I am collecting experiences so I can write about them later and sleep deprivation is part of it, stress as well. It will be here anyway, I will just enjoy the way it kicks by behind and then write about it.
I went through a whole textbook in two days and managed to even go to a lecture. I just never make the effort because I can always pass without giving all my best. Well, now I am giving all my best, so all efforts are enjoyed and will pay up I hope. And when it is all over, I will enjoy a week (or four) of laziness, books, TV series, music, food and cappuccino. As Meredith says : What's that saying... Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
I also have new ideas and I wish I had the time to work on them, but at least I will make sure to keep them safely written somewhere. Any idea that stays in my mind, even if I do not work on it, eventually finishes itself on its own. I have no idea how that happens, but I love it!
And tomorrow is going to be a day of Morphology and Phonology and some other stuff, so I better go get some sleep while I still can.
And remember, if you happen to find the fire within you the way I have, never ever let it go out. I've lost it, found it again, lost it, then found it. There is nothing wrong with being lost ... You never know what you will find. But having that fire that makes you stay up at night and do something rather than sleep and have no memory of it... This is how I remind me of what I really am. Not you. Not anyone.
Somehow I realise that I no longer see characters as simply characters ... I imagine them as real and discover with pleasure what is hidden within their souls, why they do what they do, why they think the way they think... I see all those things as pieces of a puzzle and it is quite helpful in creating my own ideas of characters. Well, reading has always been my favourite way to learn how to write, so this is what I will keep doing. Experience, whether imaginary or real, is still experience.

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