24 февруари, 2014

diary of Jane

Losing love is like organ damage, is what Mer says. Well, I have the support system to cut it permanently off my life. It's done enough damage, along with all the sleepless nights, the angry fights and the worrying. If someone loves you, he'd never put you through anything like that. If someone cares, you come first and that's it! It's not supposed to be that hard and I'm not supposed to be holding on all that much to someone who would rather go have fun and not tell me about it, so I have to find it all out thanks to the few people who care about me. Here's to the two years of my life when I've done more than possible to keep it together. And at least I tried. Which is more than you can say. And I really am all out of scars for you. I have no faith in anything anymore. Faith and "meant to be" only got us so far. To me finding out where you've been thanks to pictures on the internet.
The cold doesn't bother me. In the cold light of day I don't even feel like running. You're the one who should run because I did nothing wrong. I cared. Maybe more than I had to. Because you would have had your fun with or without hiding it from me. So it's really a matter of choice and probably selfishness. But I keep giving chances to the people who deserve it the least.

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