12 февруари, 2014

I might as well

I can't decide if it's the spring weather in the middle of February, or the exam in a few days that makes me do everything but actually study for that exam. People are going out, and I enjoy cleaning up the room, as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Weird! My mother should see me now. Or not! She is an obsessive cleaner, so she will disapprove of my cleaning abilities and will try to remember if I am actually adopted, since I haven't inherited any of her cleaning skills, or at least the desire to acquire some of those skills. 
Helping people feels surprisingly inspiring. And being a friend has the same effect. Plus, the other day out of the blue I came up with something amazing on the Dark angel story and I can't wait for the exam session to be over, so I can write on it and get pulled into this terrific world created by my own imagination. 

I should probably stop writing about the things I want to do and start doing them, but my mind is too focused on the things I must do and it will ruin the experience for me. Which is why first I have to start with the things I must do, so I can be done with them and move on to the things I want to do. 

Wasn't that the definition of happiness? Something to love, something to do, and something to hope for. I guess I have them all. I must be lucky. In fact, every now and then I realise how lucky I am to have such awesome friends, family, boyfriend, inspiration... I suppose I should keep that in mind for the days when I hate everyone and I have the desire to never go out again. Nah... I probably will have those days no matter what. If I was good at talking to people and being social I wouldn't have been that good at writing. Then again, people keep saying that having a blog and writing things for yourself cannot be a solid proof for whether someone is a good writer. But it must be a start, at least. And if you write just to get published you might as well give it up right now. It's one of the arts for a reason. It is supposed to tickle your soul and play with your mind and make you see the world in thousand new ways at once. Everything else is a waste of time. And I never said I can change the world with my words. But since they are all I have, I might as well try, right?!

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