17 юли, 2014

decisions, decisions...

Teddy had a birthday and took us to the most heavenly place on earth! And there were games, and drinking and fun and food and all the loveliness possible! I am finally happy. Did I mention I have awesome friends!? Yep, plural. Each and every one of them is awesome in their own personal special way and I am glad and lucky to have them. And none of them likes you, which should tell me something. 
Every single thing we do feels like a goodbye and I am trying to remember when was the last time I felt happy and in love and knowing that we belong together. I honestly have no idea when I got so okay with the other idea - that maybe we are not. Maybe it was all a lie, maybe we changed and maybe this is just a bad period. Whichever it is, I can hardly see things going back to normal. I can hardly see anything, really.
Sometimes I swear I live with a stranger. Other times I want it all - the good, the bad... I don't really think it's worth it. And you'd never take my arguments seriously anyway. 
But I am giving myself time to be happy this week and then I will decide if I should change something to actually be happy. 

Няма коментари: