06 декември, 2014

what do you want from me

И този е от дните, в които ще се давя в кофеин и никотин. Не искам да познавам никой и не искам никой да познава мен. Не искам да имам белези и да съм оставила такива по някого. Не искам и себе си да познавам, доста често. 
But I'm still here, still breathing, making mistakes and well, living with them. Good thing - I have awesome friends. Even when they get sick of my drama, they're still here and I love them for it. Seriously, without you I'd never be who I am now. I'd be drunk, more likely, because life sucks. I just knew something bad was going to happen and this is my proof. I have no idea what I'd going to do, or how I'm going to do it. Hell, I have so many things to think about and no inspiration to do so. I don't even feel like crying or screaming. This is no surprise for me. There are no happy endings. And I deserve the misery, because someone else is miserable because of me every damn night. I had no intention of hurting him, but here we are. We hurt people, we fall for people and we mean well, but it still hurts, so why are we even trying to make anything work? Because life would suck more if we didn't, I guess. I wish I could say that love is going to save us all and stuff, but that was long time ago. 
Now I can't fall asleep at night, I can't handle my own thoughts most of the time and everyday I wonder how I got here. Most of all, the closer I get to that date, the more I freak out, because it might make or break me. I love how people can screw up my life from distance. As always!

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