24 януари, 2015

don't u dare change

Him calling me to tell me good night. Making me stutter and enjoying it. When we are sleepy. When he says something cute knowing that I'll find it adorable. Watching a TV show for hours on a rainy night and falling asleep in each other's arms. I can live with that without wanting more.
I've been a hero for the past couple of days and it seems like the dark period is coming to an end. Not that it can't come back, but I guess beating it once will help in the future. And I do want to take this summer all for me and be by myself with my own thoughts, books and characters. I've found enough limits for now, enough boundaries, enough ghosts and nightmares. I could use the peace and the quiet. I've lived on emotions, caffeine, caffeine and alcohol for so long that I thought not having an overdose of those will be the death of me, but it's the complete opposite. I've accepted things the way they are and I'm finally not trying to change anything. I'm letting it all happen on itself if it wishes. I'm not saying I won't fight if I have to but some things need to happen on their own. Trying to force everything only leads to more destruction on all ends. 
Well, it took a lot to learn my lesson. Now I really want to drown in the simple daily pleasures that life offers me and to enjoy every single second of what is to come. I guess this also means drowning in inspiration because I feel both happy and inspired but not on fire. I mean, there is fire but it's not destructive, it is simply warming me and waiting for its time. 

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