21 януари, 2015

dream catcher malfunction

When you care about people, you don't push their buttons and you don't pull their strings whenever you feel like it just because you can. You don't run away when things are hard. Distance, fights and differences don't mean a thing when you care. People can be mean to you, they can push you away, they can be driving you insane, but you will still be there for them. You won't be blaming them for things falling apart, you won't be selfishly trying to find a place in their life when you wouldn't give them some in yours.
By the time I've spent with the ghost of someone else's past in my dreams, we could have been best friends already. If only she wasn't so selfish as to keep telling me that she knows him before I did and that I will never be able to understand him the way she has. Well, that's just my subconsciousness speaking I guess. But I don't believe that is true. I know him. It's her I don't understand. She says she cares and loves him, but she's only waiting for him to go to her. She wouldn't even lift her finger to do anything for him. She blames me for hating her while she goes behind my back telling him things about me and discussing my relationship with him. She has no idea how wrecked he was when I met him. She has no idea how much it hurt him to be talking to her, trying to be her friend.
Well, I was there, when she wasn't. I was holding his hand when she was ripping his heart out. I fixed what she broke to the best of y abilities. Only to have her stalking my dreams and crying to me about him. Karma must be my biggest fan. I really do want to accidentally meet her so she can fake liking me and I can finally tell her at least half of what I think. A girl must have her peace every once in a while and if that includes talking to her, that's fine with me. I'm not saying it was easy for her to leave and be there on her own, but hers was a choice, his was the lack of one. And he tried anyway. 

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