07 януари, 2015

i'll be your gold

I was a hero yesterday! I guess I'll have to be my own hero for a while, but I don't mind. It's all going to be okay. Things are slowly starting to get back to normal and I enjoy them as they are.
The weeks of hell are here. We've got so any things to do and not enough time to do them. And instead of studying I'd so much love to lose myself in some book, or to spend ore time with friends or with him. Or to just sleep and eat and not care about anything.
Now would be the perfect time for a vacation because it's so cold that all you want to do is stay in bed and drink coffee and tea. Some cuddling and movies would be nice too. Playing some games, watching some funny stuff on the internet. I'd very much love to do it all and drown in the happiness that comes from those moments. I so much love our simple plans and the finally easy to breathe air all around me. 
Right now I am colouring all my study materials and organizing, so that I can get into the spirit of the beginning exam session. I honestly have no motivation for it and I'd very much like to not lift a finger and still pass. But there is this pressing thought that I can do better than this. So I am slowly preparing my mind for the information overload that is going to follow in the next few weeks. If you are going to be my reward for every day I spend studying, I'd gladly do it. Principles are important after all, and we are no quitters when it comes to studying. We give it all we've got. 
I'd like to have you beside me the same way you do when there is something difficult to be done. Probably because you understand why doing your best is that important. And because you do it better than me most of the time. We are a match, but I still can't decide if it was made in hell or heaven. 
I don't know how, but something is different. It might be me, it might be something else, but things are better now. I am better. 
I don't want anything more, but I don't want anything less. 

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