01 юли, 2015

не си там

липсите спират дъха (само)
при липса на местоимения
а притежателни има (само)
където и нас ни има
Теб ли да обвиня, че ме повреди или себе си, че ти го позволих?
She was on fire, then reality drowned her, so she drowned herself.
Ghosts exist for a reason. I should know. I'm fine with my thoughts, I don't need to drown them in alcohol. At least for now. But soon nothing will be able to stop them. The ghosts are coming back for real yet again. This should be fun, I guess. Why not mess me up just when things are starting to seem normal? It makes all the sense in the world, actually and that's exactly the way my life goes.
Sometimes I really do want to forget it all, you know. Even the good parts. Because I won't have to remember the bad ones as well. This wasn't my mess but they all made it mine and now I have to figure out what to do with it. I'm letting it be another circle of hell for me.
I'm gathering all my drafts in one again. I'm not sure if I should be happy or not, but some of the fire is gone. Maybe because the waiting is almost over and I will soon have all my answers. Or with my luck, I will keep being stranded here just like I've been for a long time now. 
I like having new people around. Or even old ones. I find it quite comforting to be able to go out and have some much needed fun no matter what. The summer belongs to my writing. Well, at least what little summer is left without having to prepare for exams. And to figuring out how to fight off the insanity and the dark thoughts because more often than not they win.

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