29 юли, 2015

everything that kills me

If I'm writing, then my love life must suck. Well, it always does, so yes - I'm writing. It feels good though because I'm working on a new angle for my supposed future novel and it's going quite good so far. I even managed to spice up the style a little bit and add some darkness to the action. Hopefully it will be as awesome in reality as I see it with my imagination. 
Other than that I forgot to mention how much I hate being assigned a label that I belong to someone and no one can ever talk to me in certain ways. While in reality I no longer belong to anyone and I'm not a property (idiots!). It's like when you're with someone, they are allowed to make inappropriate jokes because there can't be any truth to them actually happening. And when you're no longer with somebody, no one wants to make such jokes as if you'd immediatelly act on it. Hello! Do I look that crazy and desperate? 
That is why I like the people who ignore my labels and keep joking with me or about me. Because, let's face it - after all a big part of my life is a joke. And now it's not just the dreams. My imagination is actively playing with the temptation and the possibility there. So you have a tag and you should feel special even though if you knew about it, you'd laugh at me a lot and then you'd say how I want you and I'm just pretending not to. Idiot! I do want you. I just want to be rid of all other things (ghosts) that may or may not still be a part of my otherwise always messed up life. 
And there I go again talking about things that are just a vague possibility and may not even happen as if they are already true. Reading all the posts at the end of the year will be so much fun. And while I talk about them, they couldn't care less. Well, I already changed my hair. As soon as I'm over with this insanity I'm getting some tattoos. And whatever happens. 

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