21 август, 2015

and it's enough

I can't believe it took me this long to realize it all. Anything I did, anything that happened to me is something only I have to live with. I'm the one that has to go to bed with it, wake up in the morning with and well, deal with the entire day. No one else can do that for me, so no one else can tell me what to do and what not to do. And even if it's stupid, childish, wrong, if it makes me feel good in a way, then why not do it? The people that love me will love me even if I am an idiot sometimes. 
If I'm all I've got at the end of the day, I better make sure it's what I want as well. It's enough for now but I got plenty of time to make something out of the pieces I got left after all the circles of hell are over. I'm done painting my hell. I will paint beautiful pictures instead, I will capture them with my camera, in my words and around my friends. Life is too damn short to be living in the past with all the things that happened, could have or should have happened. They did ot didn't for one or another reason and maybe it's for the best. And I'll never know anyway. Because it doesn't matter. There is no going back, so any thinking about it is quite pointless. 
I want to slap myself when I think of all the time I spent dwelling on the past and trying to fix broken things when I could have been enjoying all the good things I already have. It's another lesson, I guess. And at some point, it was exactly what I wanted and maybe even needed. And that's okay. I am a work in progress and I can't wait to amaze the world with my awesomness. But above all, I guess I would like to amaze myself because I kept thinking that I couldn't do this and that. It's all a frame, a box I've been trying to fit into and I was never born to fit in but to stand out and shine.

Няма коментари: