17 август, 2015

friendzoned

Seeing old friends is magic. You tell each other all the things you've missed on and you catch up and you see how far you've all gotten. It's a good thing to realize that you are no longer who you used to be and that some bad things may have happened but you are still that epic person who was brave and did what you wanted.
So I kind of blew it. I'd very much like to write a whole post on all the little details about him that I never noticed before. I swear, I've known him for the bigger part of my life and it's like I'm seeing him for the first time. But I knew this would happen. I just never allowed myself to go there because I knew going back won't be easy. Hell, it never is. Now I'd very much like to become blind again, for all the things I am now seeing. I don't want to have ideas, I don't want to want anything. I'm the ocean and I am still figuring out what something I want to be. But you did save me once, even if it was in a dream. And it's thatks to you that I got that smile I forgot about, so whatever happens (or in this case doesn't) is okay.
The lack of sleep isn't helping me at all to be rational and to not do or say stupid things. I want this! I guess that's what matters.

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