18 август, 2015

wicked games

Sharing quotes, hating the guys that ruined our make up, messed up our beds, lives and even our thoughts, broke our hearts. We will be better for it. Scared, scarred, but loving even more fiercely once we get over our issues. Hopefully someone will be okay with that and will be worth it. Until then let the fun begin because we are 22 and we are at the top of the world screaming for the happiness we know we deserve. 
This is my way of avoiding to write about him and how I promissed not to talk to him today and I broke that promise. Tomorrow I will be stronger, I hope. That doesn't mean I don't want this. I do. I am just willing to be patient and enjoy it all. Whatever happens, you know!
And I've been drawing myself some lines which I intend not to cross anymore. It will only hurt some more and I don't need this kind of negativity in my new life. On the other hand I should be studying but I can't find the desire to do so. I guess I will have to do so tomorrow. The perfect way to stay away from the laptop and having the insane idea that he's waiting for me to text him. Nope, it's his turn. I never quit and I always get what I want eventually. I want him! And I feel like an addict, so I am admitting my problem in the vain hope it disappears and knowing it won't. Because I've been holding myself and my feelings for him back for way too long and now I am letting them drown my freshly sane thoughts. Who am I kidding, anyway!? I'm in love with my insanity. Because the only way to stop it is to look for breath-taking moments with awesome people and that sure is a great way to be spending my time. He sure can take my mind off any kind of insanity or drown me in it all at once. 
The things I will do to you, if you let me. If I even wait for any permission at all. Well, turns out I'm too bad for the good guys and still too good for the bad ones. I am willing to change that and go for bad. It suits me perfectly and who wants a good guy when you can have a bad and broken boy loving you for the broken soulless idiot that you are. 

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