06 октомври, 2015

more is better

It's almost been a year. You'd think I know how to manage my insanity by now. Turns out I'm still learning and it can still take the best of me sometimes. Tomorrow will be the first test of many to come. And half of me can't wait while the other wants some more time to prepare. Because being a hero can be hard and scary as hell. Well, what's new around here.
Oh, I do have a type. The ones that are not into me are the ones I want. All the irony, I sing to myself and sigh. Who am I to argue with karma and fate... Whatever happens. I'm not getting my hopes up anymore. I'm not doing anything. It was my turn, I made it. Now it's yours. And I get that we are all complicated and have had our fair share of drama in our lives but I deserve the chance. Because we clicked in a way I haven't clicked with anyone in a long time. Fine, I said it. I need to get this out of my system so I can stop thinking about it. 
Plus I'm still no good to anyone right now, even if I'm trying to pretend that I am. I'm still not sure if I'm going to wake up swimming or already drowned. I learnt my lessons, I'm being safe this time and staying away from trouble. Though I know my luck pretty well and trouble is already on the way. Still, it's nice to see that there are still people out there who can make you smile when you think you'll never do so. You know. 
Somehow I'm glad you're staying away. I'd rather not know how awesome you are. Because even the glimpse of it made me imagine things and want things. All of it will be too much to try and erase afterwards. I'm still fighting the ghosts of my past, I can't do it all over again. I don't even want to try and make it work with anyone at this point. Just to wait for another day to come and to survive it hopefully. Which is why I liked you so much. You made me want more. 

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