24 април, 2016

feelings

It's raining. I almost walked home in the rain but I have nice friends who insisted to take me home. I have feelings. Don't give me hope. They need to disappear because things never work out for me and I've had enough disappointments to last a lifetime. Don't tell me you wonder if he has feelings as well. He doesn't. It's a fact - the people I love never love me back. Not really anyway. I'm just an in-between girl until they get back to the love of their life or finally meet her. I don't matter. Nothing ever does. 
The drowning was the first sign that I'm going back to the hell I spent a year coming back from. The two days of sleep and not wanting to get out of bed is the second. Wanting to get drunk or even light a cigarette is the third. Well, I'm already there. And my mom made sure of that by ruining the one thing I was looking forward to as usual. 
Yes, I had a dream the other day that inspired me to write another story. I even have a few pages started but I can't see the point to any of this. I'll start writing, then I'll have other things to do because I need education and I have exams and work and then the inspiration will leave because everything and everyone leaves me sooner rather than later. And that will be it. 

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