10 май, 2016

I'm betting on me this time

I'm quietly drawing a line for myself and will do my best to not cross it. 
Almost two years ago I gave up on holding on to someone who didn't care enough to do so. I made excuses when he didn't even bother to give me any. I made plans, I fought, I tried and held on. I promised I won't do it again and I intend to keep that promise. I'm not holding up space for anyone, especially someone who is not sure if he wants it in the first place. When the answer is always 'no' you stop asking the same question expecting a different one and move on. You find another way. 
Experience has taught me to take care of my own damn self finally and you make me happy but that doesn't mean you get to make plans with me only when no one else is around. Not when I'd drop things off to be with you. 
My mistake - I always teach them that they come first and I always come last, not even second. I choose myself for once because no one else did and because they should have. You should have. Also I'm sleepy and a bit pissed and trying to prove something, so I will stop here.
The world belongs to me and I will make it the way I want it to be. I don't need people to make me happy. I have myself and that, considering how many shit I've been through, is a lot. So make up your damn mind and stop wasting my time. 

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