04 юни, 2017

devil in me

It's exams time and I still live too much and sleep too little. Well, the beginning of last month was promising but didn't turn out so well. This one also starts promising and I've got plenty of things happening. I wanted this to be my art summer and that is still the plan but I wonder if I'll be able to find time for that any time soon. I'll start making a playlist for the car and start planning on all the places I want to go to. 
Also, people are weird. I've been filling the holes in my soul with people and well... I'm not doing so well with that but it helps a lot to always be busy and always be in touch. I knew getting over it would be difficult but I'm just as in as I ever was and that scares me. Because I make plans and well... I shouldn't, right? It's so masochistic of me, I know. Well, that's always the case.
Otherwise I do plan on making a website where I'd put all my art stuff. I promise this place will remain as it is and will still be my dark place where I hide my demons. 
Halsey made me cry over her new album, which is amazing. I can't wait to learn all the songs and I just love her voice while singing the lyrics. 
My moving out plans are a failure so far, as is my life every now and then. It's weird that I love working but I miss having time for myself. I want to push myself so much more yet I realize that I barely get enough sleep as it is. And the exams are not helping me with that at all. I make plans with people, I go out all the time and well... I need more time. Of course when I do have time to myself, I waste it on TV series and music but hey, we all need to chill every now and then. 
Plus my doctor's hell is still not over which well... Just my luck.
I'm just playing around with everything I've got and I've stopped being careful with a lot of things and people. I miss having the time to read books like "The Selection" series. I'd love to read The Mara Dyer trilogy again, especially with the new books about Noah coming up. And also Cassandra Clare has another book coming up where I'd be dying over Emma and Jules. 
It's always the one thing you don't have that seems to overshadow everything and everyone else.

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